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By · Request...
Take a journey with me to the great unknown...
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"I don't think you can analyze love. it's the greatest mystery of all. no one knows why it happens, or doesn't. love is a chance combination of elements: any one thing might be enough to keep it from happening... mood, gesture, glance, or remark. And if we could define love, predict it, it would probably lose it's power..." |
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For some reason, my dreams have remarkable way of affecting me. Last night was no exception. I had these two dreams about two people that were previously in my life, and I woke up feeling completely alone. Not in the sense of friends and family, God knows i have an utterly amazing support system, but in the sense of not having someone to love and cherish, in that special, connected sense. I go back to some advice that I once got: Just because you are lacking a partner does not mean you are half of a whole. You are a whole person with or without someone. But when I have these dreams, it's hard NOT feeling like I lack a part of me that, most often I'm content not having, but sometimes I long for.
Current Mood: |
contemplative | |
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MSNBC's wrapup of all the debate contestants: Russert discusses Dem debate Clinton says she’s a Republican target Obama stresses diplomacy, credibility Edwards said it is time to stand up to the president Richardson condemns U.S. ‘saber-rattling’ Biden: Giuliani “under qualified” to be president Dodd says we should learn from ‘02 Kucinich says he saw U.F.O. Clinton urges diplomacy with Iran Poor Kucinich, I love him, he's just crazy. :( |
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A lounge that would specialize and serve in wines, chocolates. cheeses and exotic coffees - and for more 'meal'ish type faire it would have fondue... baguette, fresh fruit - dipped with cheese and chocolate sauces and paired with wines... we would also have exotic coffees that we'd offer...we would have a couple of chair masseuses that travel around location: maybe post alley, north downtown/southernmost bell town, east-side (eh), capitol hill, ??? niche: 40+ female design: dark colors - perhaps a dark cherry wood bar, colors:highlighted with jewel orange, deep ruby colors , dark browns, dark reds with jewel toned oranges and blues (yes, pretty) - low to the ground tables with plush pillows and chase reclining chairs name: ???? Art Noveau Bar? |
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T-minus 2 hours and 20 minutes.... eeek. Oh, and I love flower deliveries. just FYI |
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surgery friday - blah. :o( |
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So, I've been down with Kidney problems - an issue that I've had since I was 12. I just had a CT scan and it showed 6 small stones that *should* pass. It brought up some interesting emotions. My last surgery was 04 - the middle of my relationship with John. I realized that if I had a surgery, I wouldn't have that significant other to take care of me 24/7. I have friends that would gladly do it, but it's different. It left me feeling very lonely. I hate not being content being single - I don't like it. I like not having to rely on someone to make me feel complete, I like having someone supplement my life. But all the same, I cant fight this feeling of emptiness and loneliness. I'm sure i'll overcome it - the combination of being sick, not being around people, not going to work much all plays a factor into it... Then I found out Aaron has a new BF and I hate that. Anyway, there is an update on me :o)
Current Mood: |
tired | |
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If I wasn't done before, I am now, with people that don't see the hypocrisy in expecting people to treat them one way when they treat others (me) the EXACT opposite.
Current Mood: |
frustrated | |
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Describe Your...
Background on your cell phone: it's little scout dozing off with her head still up. then i found out my phone can alter pictures to make them black and white, so did it.
Wallet: a black wallet that zips up -so things dont fall out
Dream car : I dunno. little red sports car with good gas milage and doesnt hurt the environment
Toothbrush : ummm its like turqoise green
Jewelery worn daily : a necklace with an anchor and my great great grandmothers wedding band from portugal.
Eyes : I have a pair. Hazel/Brown
Room : comfortable
House color: my apartment building is blue with blue awnings.
Love life : Eh, whatever...
Cologne/Perfume : La Homme - deliciousness
Cd in stereo : CD? this is not 1998 son.
Piercings : Nope
...What are you...
Wearing : actually, nothing. just outta the shower.
Wanting: to not be sick
Listening to: Star Trek - yay.
....Do You...
Like tattoos: They can be HELLA sexy
Like candles : Sure
Like seafood : No no NONONO
Believe in miracles: hmmm...
Believe in love : completely
Believe in soul mates : yes, I think a person can have many - best friends and lovers.
Remember your dreams : yeah, usually. last night i had crazy dream that I was a drag queen.
Consider yourself a study freak HA, no.
Burn easily in the sun : No thank you. Portuguese
Speak another language other than English : Some Spanish
Really know all the words to your national anthem? Oh nooooo...
Know how to pump your own gas: I dont drive. But when I did, yes.
...The What's && Who's...
What month were you born in: May
What's bothering you right now: Kidneys
What does your headline mean : It's just what came to mind one day.
What's your favorite thing to do in the place where you live : Have friends over, be alone, watch star trek, eat...
What's something you wish you could understand better: mean people
What book would you recommend to anyone: The Book of Mormon. haha, I kid, I kid.
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer: probably porn or music
What was the last thing you bought: Um, I went to office depot (i love it there) and got chips, juice, candy, and pen refills
What do you think about most: hmmm, I dunno... I divide my time pretty evenly.
What was your last text message: "That's a half day? What time do you start"
Who was the last person you visited in the hospital: visited? as in - they were already there and I came? I dont remember...
Who were the last people you went out to dinner with: Dwayne
What do you miss: my phone's email function working.
Who do you hate right now: No one.
Who do you spend the most time with: Scout.
Who is the first person on your top friends: Annie. Awww...
...Last...
Thing you ate : Banana Cake
Show you watched an entire episode of: uhhh... golden girls?
Movie you watched at home: Friday Night Lights
Incoming call on your cell phone: My Doc...
Time you swam in a pool: I donno
...Have You Ever...
Won a trophy: YES! I love Trophies
Been in a beauty pageant: LMAO - do I look like Delta Burke?
Written poetry: Mmmhmm...
Made a prank phone call: Not lately...
...Random...
Something you are afraid of : failure
Are you shy around a crush: sometimes
Got any plans for the weekend: mayyyybe
A secret about you: I was a republican for the first 18 years of my life
Where did Waldo go: Waldo Geraldo Faldo?
Where do you live: Capitol HIll, Seattle. 1718 Melrose
How many people have you kissed: Lots and lots and lots and lots.
Are you a good cock: um, I'm a whole person. This is like calling a woman a cunt. I resent this question. FUCK.
Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be: No?
Story behind your myspace song: aww, I love good music. |

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